So I'm back from HK already, and I don't really feel like recapping what happened there, maybe in a later post. But for now it's Christmas time.
I've never celebrated Christmas much. And now I relish the fact that while others are scrambling to a shopping centre at 4am in the morning the day before the day before Christmas, I can sit comfortably in my study chair with no worries at all.
What do people see in Christmas, those who don't celebrate it as Jesus' birthday, the birth of the son of God? You get a plastic green tree, put it in your formal lounge, drape tinsel and baubles over it, stick a star on the top and presents at the bottom. Invite estranged relatives over for a day, sometimes putting up with them a chore in itself, and not a celebration. You buy them superficial presents to pretend you've thought of them, impress them with expensive wine and house decorations, and breathe a sigh of relief when the last of their cars pull away from your house.
Is this merely a habit, a tradition that one follows because one has always followed, or does your heart truly reach out to those you've sorely missed. Or perhaps it's a convenient time to bring everyone that you haven't seen in a while, and conjoin for a brief moment in your busy lives.
Yes I have a new boyfriend now, and to be honest I miss Chris, and sometimes I wonder what I would be doing, or how my life would be if we were still together. But it's just fanciful daydreams, all I want is him to still be my friend. Alas alas, what I would do if I could turn back time.
Christmas is closing in like a wild turkey (I don't know how wild turkeys close in it just popped in my head) and Dean (current boyfriend) is coaxing me to enjoy some Australian pasttimes. To eating dinner from a barbeque, walking around the "yard" barefoot and calling his parents by first name, he's a refreshing change, but I guess I'm just too azn. We're honest with each other, but at the same time, we never know, or understand what the other person is thinking. He can be dense as cement or sweet like sugar.
One night I would go to bed alone while he stayed up gaming with his friend, or another night ecstatic with happiness because he bought us a pair of rings. I try a little too hard to be compatible with him, and probably get trod on a little more than I need to be.
Meanwhile things at home are getting complicated. People are moving in and out, decisions have to be made, bills have to be paid, there's work to be done. He's a little bit of escapism, a piece of oasis where I can run from my troubles for just a little while. I do love him so, in my own twisted way, where it's always bittersweet.
{Two of the Lucky Ones} by Pete Droge and Elaine Summers from Zombieland, a pretty funny movie btw, worth a watch, or a download.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3QV5YMb0YQ
Swallows dive and turn, trying to catch what we can't see; Sure ain't the first time; hope it ain't the last time When all the work is done, by the light of a setting sun; We see what we've become -- two of the lucky ones.
