Thursday, December 24, 2009
messing with your mind / 1:39 AM

Obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, paranoia, depression, drug abuse, workaholicism, shoppaholicism, kleptomania, fetishes, a million types of phobias, you name it. Who can claim they are 100% normal and sane? What defines normal and sane? Is it possible to realise that we have a problem, or do we have a problem because we believe we have one?

I have self-diagnosed myself with mild cases of OCD, narcolepsy, depression, masochism, and perhaps ADD (2), bipolar and over-eating, as well as mild physical deformations like scolisos, flat feet, and asthma. Mostly according to the symptoms read from Wikipedia. Do I actually have all these problems, or am I forcing my personality and actions into the list to believe that I have all these disorders? Is that just how I am, or is there a hidden reason for the way I think and behave?

How could I personally have children, when I can't take care of myself? How could I bear to bring to life a child who could possibly have a disease, a deformity, a mental handicap or disorder? How would I be able to raise them to perfection, as well as maximise their potentials without brainwashing their opinions? What would I do to the newborn in my arms that was not a perfect baby? Would I drain them of their new life, or would they take away what has always been mine?

You read stories on the newspaper, on the internet, about people that lose it, and take the lives of others, of themselves, or whatever. And you think, these people have issues with themselves, and sometimes the distance you put between you and those people can blind you to the issues of the people around you. "These are the stories of people I see on TV, there's no way people like that can be around me."

I have a friend who is almost always depressed, distrusting of friends and family, just went through a breakup with a selfish girl, blames himself for a lot of things, and other problems. I've always tried to be there for him, to make sure he stays afloat. Sometimes I'll give him a little space 'to be himself again'. Until yesterday when I thought, "what if he really isn't normal? what if he's going to be one of those people I read in the news?" What am I going to do, when the last email I get from him is one that says goodbye forever?

{Let It Die} by Three Days Grace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4KYPAfe11o

It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't want to hear it anymore
I swear I never meant to let it die
I just don't care about you anymore
1

1 Comments:

I think it doesn´t matter one bit if someone suffers from mental illness. It´s more important to be happy, regardless how you achieve it as long as it doesn´t affect anyone else in a negative manner. You see all these movies about psych wards where everyone´s stoned, how the heck does that make them better? you´re the only one who can judge you, don´t let anyone else´s opinion count =). I´ve been told i´m overly arrogant, but after many years, i realise that not much matters =)

By Blogger Albert J, at December 25, 2009 at 12:24 PM  

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